Now Serving Easy Mode
Between the Empire and her colonies are two sea routes: one infested with pirates, the other not.
If the Empire ships goods through safe waters, the colonies will receive the goods for a price. If the Empire ships goods through pirate-infested waters, the colonies will still get all of the goods (these are not your normal pirates), but for much cheaper if not for free.
All other things being equal, it's very clear in this scenario that if you are a colonist, you benefit more when the Empire ships through pirate-infested waters. If you are the Empire, you obviously benefit more with safer shipping routes.
This is an overlooked, underrated and probably the most significant cause for the commercial dominance of console video games over computer video games.
Incidentally, anyone can play guitar.
29 January 2008
28 January 2008
Damnable Cliches
When in vain, talk about how poorly you talk. Really, it'll work.
When in vain, break fourth wall.
When in vain, write about writer's block.
When in vain, make a note of your work's being uninteresting. It will be interesting.
To stand still is to stand in vain. To live without growth is to live in vain. To create with a voice that is not one's own is to create in vain.
It's not narrowness in art that is bad - it's premises for narrowness that can be bad or good.
When in vain, break fourth wall.
When in vain, write about writer's block.
When in vain, make a note of your work's being uninteresting. It will be interesting.
To stand still is to stand in vain. To live without growth is to live in vain. To create with a voice that is not one's own is to create in vain.
It's not narrowness in art that is bad - it's premises for narrowness that can be bad or good.
27 January 2008
26 January 2008
New
Now Serving Meds
We need a new masculinity. Can playing with fire and working with discipline be ethically sound parts of uniquely masculine values?
We need a new 1984: "WASTE IS GROWTH."
We need a new way of expressing ideas, one that does not think in subjective terms of "need" so much as objective terms of benefit and ethical legitimacy.
We need clarity, but don't look here.
We need a new social approach to logic (which is not to say we need to replace our current approach; we don't currently have one).
We need a new columnist in our college's newspaper, and I'm not biased at all.
We need a new definition of "independent," because the current definition apparently includes "owned by General Electric."
Either that, or a certification provided by the feds to newspapers that meets a strict legal definition of "independent," the logo of which can only be printed on those newspapers that actually have the certification.
I know, I know. Woah! That's dangerous! But it needn't necessarily be (and this is where I really start daydreaming) - a strict imposition of accessibility might be imposed on the language of the legal definition of "independent," as it applies to newspaper certifications. That is to say, such a certification and definition must be utterly transparent, such that the process can be scrutinized, and the public can hold the government accountable to its certification.
Well.
The funny thing about American politics is that extremists on the two major sides often demand a high level of awareness and activity from the citizenry.
Maybe we should worry about how to give ourselves that energy - not how to spend it when it doesn't exist. (Hm, speaking of American politics...)
We need a new masculinity. Can playing with fire and working with discipline be ethically sound parts of uniquely masculine values?
We need a new 1984: "WASTE IS GROWTH."
We need a new way of expressing ideas, one that does not think in subjective terms of "need" so much as objective terms of benefit and ethical legitimacy.
We need clarity, but don't look here.
We need a new social approach to logic (which is not to say we need to replace our current approach; we don't currently have one).
We need a new columnist in our college's newspaper, and I'm not biased at all.
We need a new definition of "independent," because the current definition apparently includes "owned by General Electric."
Either that, or a certification provided by the feds to newspapers that meets a strict legal definition of "independent," the logo of which can only be printed on those newspapers that actually have the certification.
I know, I know. Woah! That's dangerous! But it needn't necessarily be (and this is where I really start daydreaming) - a strict imposition of accessibility might be imposed on the language of the legal definition of "independent," as it applies to newspaper certifications. That is to say, such a certification and definition must be utterly transparent, such that the process can be scrutinized, and the public can hold the government accountable to its certification.
Well.
The funny thing about American politics is that extremists on the two major sides often demand a high level of awareness and activity from the citizenry.
Maybe we should worry about how to give ourselves that energy - not how to spend it when it doesn't exist. (Hm, speaking of American politics...)
22 January 2008
Scattered
Now Serving Celestial Seasonings' Green Tea
"In the moment of action, remember the value of silence and order."
~ Phormio of Athens ~ source
Regarding a UN-FAO report that claimed 500,000+ Iraqi children's deaths were a result of sanctions: "I think that this is a very hard choice, but the price - we think the price is worth it."
~ Madeleine Albright ~ source
"Next to knowing when to seize an opportunity, the most important thing in life is knowing when to forego an advantage."
~ Benjamin Disraeli ~ source
Ambiguity's sake is a medicine for your didactic side-effects.
"In the moment of action, remember the value of silence and order."
~ Phormio of Athens ~ source
Regarding a UN-FAO report that claimed 500,000+ Iraqi children's deaths were a result of sanctions: "I think that this is a very hard choice, but the price - we think the price is worth it."
~ Madeleine Albright ~ source
"Next to knowing when to seize an opportunity, the most important thing in life is knowing when to forego an advantage."
~ Benjamin Disraeli ~ source
Ambiguity's sake is a medicine for your didactic side-effects.
17 January 2008
It Didn't Stop at Henry Ford
Of course it couldn't happen!
Or, if you have realplayer, eradicate your complacency more directly.
Adam Smith (the very same "father of capitalism," author of the "Wealth of Nations," etc.), regarding laws proposed by businessmen:
"It comes from an order of men, whose interest is never exactly the same with that of the public, who have generally an interest to deceive and even to oppress the public, and who accordingly have, upon many occasions, both deceived and oppressed it."
Someone call the House Un-American Activities Committee, Adam Smith is drinking the commies' kool-aid!
Or, if you have realplayer, eradicate your complacency more directly.
Adam Smith (the very same "father of capitalism," author of the "Wealth of Nations," etc.), regarding laws proposed by businessmen:
"It comes from an order of men, whose interest is never exactly the same with that of the public, who have generally an interest to deceive and even to oppress the public, and who accordingly have, upon many occasions, both deceived and oppressed it."
Someone call the House Un-American Activities Committee, Adam Smith is drinking the commies' kool-aid!
um, wat
So, Google supports net neutrality, right? After all, they're a member of the pro-NN Open Internet Coalition.
That's why I was confused today when I stumbled upon the Progress & Freedom Foundation, a free market think-tank that opposes net neutrality, and discovered that Google was listed as one of their supporters.
Is this a bureaucratic mix-up, or is Google being disingenuous? Hm.
That's why I was confused today when I stumbled upon the Progress & Freedom Foundation, a free market think-tank that opposes net neutrality, and discovered that Google was listed as one of their supporters.
Is this a bureaucratic mix-up, or is Google being disingenuous? Hm.
14 January 2008
Classic Rock is Not the Music of the Revolution
Let's talk about conservative politicians.
Let's talk about rhetoric. The anti-capitalist is listening to podcasts from The Consumerist on an iPod. The women's rights advocate silences free speech, and liberators of the female body silence women. Homophobic religions are protecting unions, and the workers are pro-life. Hippies are in love with Ron Paul. People are imparting universal political wisdom by means of well-intentioned torture, and "torture" amounts to cutting someone's hair. Politicians tell the truth when they're talking about each other, but not always. Environmentalists drink bottled water on their arduous marches, and a real-estate developer gave me money when I went door-to-door asking for donations in the fight against suburban sprawl.
Let's talk about V for Vendetta. The poor wish they had what their oppressors had, while their oppressors fight the tyrants. Austin is a liberal city, and Ann Arbor is a suburb. Poets love war, and professors wear bow-ties. Europe has an epidemic of racism. Mean people suck, sell-outs tell you to vote, your favorite satirists scorch what's dear to you, and binary thinking crushes justice. Partiers only fight for their own rights, and only some of those. Classic rock is not the music of the revolution.
Let's talk about rhetoric. The anti-capitalist is listening to podcasts from The Consumerist on an iPod. The women's rights advocate silences free speech, and liberators of the female body silence women. Homophobic religions are protecting unions, and the workers are pro-life. Hippies are in love with Ron Paul. People are imparting universal political wisdom by means of well-intentioned torture, and "torture" amounts to cutting someone's hair. Politicians tell the truth when they're talking about each other, but not always. Environmentalists drink bottled water on their arduous marches, and a real-estate developer gave me money when I went door-to-door asking for donations in the fight against suburban sprawl.
Let's talk about V for Vendetta. The poor wish they had what their oppressors had, while their oppressors fight the tyrants. Austin is a liberal city, and Ann Arbor is a suburb. Poets love war, and professors wear bow-ties. Europe has an epidemic of racism. Mean people suck, sell-outs tell you to vote, your favorite satirists scorch what's dear to you, and binary thinking crushes justice. Partiers only fight for their own rights, and only some of those. Classic rock is not the music of the revolution.
09 January 2008
07 January 2008
"may not be (entirely) legal"
[Now Serving Joshua, Finally - Ed.]
1) we know what's good for you.
a) adblocking software's legality is called into question
b) lol u try stop ad
c) now ad-blocking can be just like everything else I do on the internet
2) "This is fucked."
a) RIAA gives company money to find unsigned Myspace artists
b) e-mails and phone calls are leaked
c) yay for hackers
3) fucked again.
a-c) (see #2)
[Edited and published by Your Fabulous Singing Mongoose]
1) we know what's good for you.
a) adblocking software's legality is called into question
b) lol u try stop ad
c) now ad-blocking can be just like everything else I do on the internet
2) "This is fucked."
a) RIAA gives company money to find unsigned Myspace artists
b) e-mails and phone calls are leaked
c) yay for hackers
3) fucked again.
a-c) (see #2)
[Edited and published by Your Fabulous Singing Mongoose]
Great Success
Now Serving Pie
Hurray!
It may or may not have nationalist bias, describe a non-causal correlation, and/or have a flawed method, but it's about green tea!
Wait, it's from the Tehran times. It's probably just Jihadist Islamofascist Terrorist Pinko Commie Homosexual Black Propaganda. Never mind.
If Jaroslav Hasek were alive today, I think we all know what would be on his lapels. "I wanted to know if the Austrian police were functioning properly."
Incidentally, Ever Thus to Misogynists
Who did David Crosby owe it to? Maybe it was you. What did he owe? Maybe that his hair would grow.
Maybe he just owed Anita Bryant a pie.
Hurray!
It may or may not have nationalist bias, describe a non-causal correlation, and/or have a flawed method, but it's about green tea!
Wait, it's from the Tehran times. It's probably just Jihadist Islamofascist Terrorist Pinko Commie Homosexual Black Propaganda. Never mind.
If Jaroslav Hasek were alive today, I think we all know what would be on his lapels. "I wanted to know if the Austrian police were functioning properly."
Incidentally, Ever Thus to Misogynists
Who did David Crosby owe it to? Maybe it was you. What did he owe? Maybe that his hair would grow.
Maybe he just owed Anita Bryant a pie.
My Former Roommate's Favorite Price
Now Serving The Way to Make Your Students Love You
"As you will see, all of the course readings are on Angel, so you do not need to purchase any text books."
We Still Suck
I'm sorry, what's this "football" you speak of?
They should start making this shirt in Green and White.
Or, perhaps, it's presently appropriate to have in Maroon.* Here's what our school newspaper took away from that game: "Wow, our fans are awesome! Isn't that great?" Almost as great as when they published a newspaper-poster of Zeke the Wonder Dog instead of a player. (That was the most popular football-related door poster in the dorms.)
I don't know why we didn't just leave the front page for basketball or hockey or something. At least when I youtube "MSU BC," I can still find the NCAA Hockey national championship game.
In related news, I'm grateful to the Ann Arbor News for waiting until I was safely out of town before publishing the last letter on this page. I hope I'm safe, at least. Some of these freshmen still cling to old loyalties...
*Actually, these are the most appropriate colors for a college soccer shirt.
"As you will see, all of the course readings are on Angel, so you do not need to purchase any text books."
We Still Suck
I'm sorry, what's this "football" you speak of?
They should start making this shirt in Green and White.
Or, perhaps, it's presently appropriate to have in Maroon.* Here's what our school newspaper took away from that game: "Wow, our fans are awesome! Isn't that great?" Almost as great as when they published a newspaper-poster of Zeke the Wonder Dog instead of a player. (That was the most popular football-related door poster in the dorms.)
I don't know why we didn't just leave the front page for basketball or hockey or something. At least when I youtube "MSU BC," I can still find the NCAA Hockey national championship game.
In related news, I'm grateful to the Ann Arbor News for waiting until I was safely out of town before publishing the last letter on this page. I hope I'm safe, at least. Some of these freshmen still cling to old loyalties...
*Actually, these are the most appropriate colors for a college soccer shirt.
03 January 2008
It's as Hard as Sitting On Your Ass
Now Serving Wikipedia, to the unwitting denizens of the Cave
"RoboCop explores larger themes regarding the media and human nature in addition to being a big budget action film; the philosopher Steven Best wrote an essay on some of this content."
"In the Criterion Edition DVD commentary track, executive producer Jon Davison and writer Edward Neumeier both point to the decay of American industry from the 1970s through the early 1980s. The abandoned Rust Belt-style factories that RoboCop and Clarence Boddicker's gang use as hideouts demonstrate this theme. Massive unemployment is prevalent, being reported frequently on the news, as is poverty and the crime that results from economic hardship."
"RoboCop explores larger themes regarding the media and human nature in addition to being a big budget action film; the philosopher Steven Best wrote an essay on some of this content."
"In the Criterion Edition DVD commentary track, executive producer Jon Davison and writer Edward Neumeier both point to the decay of American industry from the 1970s through the early 1980s. The abandoned Rust Belt-style factories that RoboCop and Clarence Boddicker's gang use as hideouts demonstrate this theme. Massive unemployment is prevalent, being reported frequently on the news, as is poverty and the crime that results from economic hardship."
"One of the Taurus's competitors at the time, the Pontiac 6000, is parodied in the movie as the '6000 SUX.' The 6000 SUX itself was based on a 1976 Oldsmobile Cutlass with extensive bodywork. Commercials advertise the SUX as 'an American tradition' with a fuel efficiency of 8.2 miles per gallon."
"The story satirizes Reaganomics and the consumerism of the eighties era, with OCP presented as a massive corporate hulk that controls citizens' lives on all levels of society. Almost no distinction is made between the conduct of top level executives and street criminals, as both are seen occupied with drugs, corrupting society and talking the same catch phrases while conducting their shady affairs ('good business is where you find it')."
"Although both Neumeier and Verhoeven have declared themselves staunchly on the political left, Neumeier recalls on the audio commentary to Starship Troopers that many of his leftist friends wrongly perceived RoboCop as a fascist movie. However, on the 20th Anniversary DVD, producer Jon Davison referred to the film's message as 'fascism for liberals' - a politically liberal film done in the most violent way possible."
Alright, alright, I know. Wikipedia isn't reliable. So let's try some International Movie Database.
"The scientist who introduces ED-209 in the beginning has name tag called McNamara, a nod to Robert McNamara, the Secretary of Defense during the Kennedy Administration. Production designer William Sandell based the ED-209 design on the BELL UH-1H-HUEY chopper used during the Vietnam war."
"The sound of Bob Morton's doorbell is the same as the one in the writer's house in A Clockwork Orange (1971)."
"The repeated line 'I'd buy that for a dollar!' comes from Cyril Kornbluth's short story 'The Marching Morons', which presents a similarly cynical view of an over-commercialized future that's desensitized to violence and war. A radio game show in that short story uses the line 'I'd buy that for a quarter' as its signature phrase."
It takes all of five minutes in front of a computer to find this stuff.
When did this come out? The mid-80s? Gee, you think maybe it could have served as a warning for the city of Detroit? Maybe not enough people "read into it."
"The story satirizes Reaganomics and the consumerism of the eighties era, with OCP presented as a massive corporate hulk that controls citizens' lives on all levels of society. Almost no distinction is made between the conduct of top level executives and street criminals, as both are seen occupied with drugs, corrupting society and talking the same catch phrases while conducting their shady affairs ('good business is where you find it')."
"Although both Neumeier and Verhoeven have declared themselves staunchly on the political left, Neumeier recalls on the audio commentary to Starship Troopers that many of his leftist friends wrongly perceived RoboCop as a fascist movie. However, on the 20th Anniversary DVD, producer Jon Davison referred to the film's message as 'fascism for liberals' - a politically liberal film done in the most violent way possible."
Alright, alright, I know. Wikipedia isn't reliable. So let's try some International Movie Database.
"The scientist who introduces ED-209 in the beginning has name tag called McNamara, a nod to Robert McNamara, the Secretary of Defense during the Kennedy Administration. Production designer William Sandell based the ED-209 design on the BELL UH-1H-HUEY chopper used during the Vietnam war."
"The sound of Bob Morton's doorbell is the same as the one in the writer's house in A Clockwork Orange (1971)."
"The repeated line 'I'd buy that for a dollar!' comes from Cyril Kornbluth's short story 'The Marching Morons', which presents a similarly cynical view of an over-commercialized future that's desensitized to violence and war. A radio game show in that short story uses the line 'I'd buy that for a quarter' as its signature phrase."
It takes all of five minutes in front of a computer to find this stuff.
When did this come out? The mid-80s? Gee, you think maybe it could have served as a warning for the city of Detroit? Maybe not enough people "read into it."
"Piss Jesus" to the Tenth Power
Now Serving An Explicit, Potentially Offensive Image - Consider Yourself Warned
Heh. Seriously though, if you think it's at all possible for you to be offended by anything involving Jesus, then I'm 90% sure you're better off not following this link.
Hehe. See if you can catch both the pun and the irony in that one. This third link, I'm not going to pretend is the offensive one - it's just going to be something.
Finally, without further ado, is the image that you should not look at if you're even a little bit sensitive, because it is absolutely incredibly offensive.
I'm zealous about these warnings because I don't belong to the Church of Political Incorrectness, which seems to worship offending people for the sake of offending people, and whose members fly into furious rants about "political correctness" any time any minority finds anything offensive. Being an asshole (the most highly-valued virtue of said Church's younger members) is not something to be proud of at all. No, not even a little bit. I'm serious, it doesn't make you cool.
Heh. Seriously though, if you think it's at all possible for you to be offended by anything involving Jesus, then I'm 90% sure you're better off not following this link.
Hehe. See if you can catch both the pun and the irony in that one. This third link, I'm not going to pretend is the offensive one - it's just going to be something.
Finally, without further ado, is the image that you should not look at if you're even a little bit sensitive, because it is absolutely incredibly offensive.
I'm zealous about these warnings because I don't belong to the Church of Political Incorrectness, which seems to worship offending people for the sake of offending people, and whose members fly into furious rants about "political correctness" any time any minority finds anything offensive. Being an asshole (the most highly-valued virtue of said Church's younger members) is not something to be proud of at all. No, not even a little bit. I'm serious, it doesn't make you cool.
I Love it When Censors Miss
Now Serving Fallen Apples
Someday, I'm going to write a musical with a prostitute character in it. When it comes her turn to sing a musical number, and the orchestra begins to play, the script will call for her to enter a coughing fit. She will have a few false starts, ultimately leaving the crowd without any songs that legitimize slavery.
Someday, after they've legalized marijuana, the day it was legalized will be annually commemorated with an NBA game between the Portland Trailblazers and the Denver Nuggets. During the pregame show, the sportscasters will toke up.
"And now, we hope you at home have the good fortune to be able to join us in a time-honored tradition here at the Billabong Glass Bowl [that's what they'll call the game, sponsored by Billabong]."
"I'm definitely looking forward to this, Doug. This game is always a fun one."
"Aaahhhh..."
"Aw, YEAH, that is the good stuff right there, ladies and gentlemen."
"WOO!" *stands up and slams table* "It's time for some BASKETBALL, knowmsayin mm-HMM!"
"Hahaha, that's what I'm talking about! He's excited, folks!"
"Blurp meep blurp, hehe, blurble-dee-boo."
...
"Bob is starting to lose it again, hahaha!"
"Where do you get those noises from, Coach Bob?"
"Hehehehehehehehehehe. He said 'noises.'"
"Hahaha, oh, my - oh shit th*BEEP*ame started already"
Someday, I'm going to write a musical with a prostitute character in it. When it comes her turn to sing a musical number, and the orchestra begins to play, the script will call for her to enter a coughing fit. She will have a few false starts, ultimately leaving the crowd without any songs that legitimize slavery.
Someday, after they've legalized marijuana, the day it was legalized will be annually commemorated with an NBA game between the Portland Trailblazers and the Denver Nuggets. During the pregame show, the sportscasters will toke up.
"And now, we hope you at home have the good fortune to be able to join us in a time-honored tradition here at the Billabong Glass Bowl [that's what they'll call the game, sponsored by Billabong]."
"I'm definitely looking forward to this, Doug. This game is always a fun one."
"Aaahhhh..."
"Aw, YEAH, that is the good stuff right there, ladies and gentlemen."
"WOO!" *stands up and slams table* "It's time for some BASKETBALL, knowmsayin mm-HMM!"
"Hahaha, that's what I'm talking about! He's excited, folks!"
"Blurp meep blurp, hehe, blurble-dee-boo."
...
"Bob is starting to lose it again, hahaha!"
"Where do you get those noises from, Coach Bob?"
"Hehehehehehehehehehe. He said 'noises.'"
"Hahaha, oh, my - oh shit th
Failure to Cut It
Now Serving Sneaky Ninja Pride*
Ethical thinking is not an optional activity.
It is not a hobby, and it is not something that most (or even some) people aren't cut out for. It is not a cup of tea, it is not a different stroke, it is not a personal choice. It is a goddamned requirement for being a social human being.
I don't care if you're "not smart," or if you're "left-brained," or if you're a woman. (Fact: many women still seem to think that "deep thoughts" are for men only.) It's hard for everyone to develop a true sense of personal morality, and even harder to bring actions in line with it. It takes time, effort, and dedication. But there is no other option, if harmony and broad, long-term happiness are our goals. And that means that all people, barring hermits and the mentally disabled (and those who live in circumstances of perpetual survival), have a responsibility to sacrifice that time, effort, and dedication.
Replacing ethical thought with the worship of partying and hypermasculinity doesn't really work.
*It's so cool, I've decided to link to the site where it was found, which also appears to be epically awesome: Niffum
Ethical thinking is not an optional activity.
It is not a hobby, and it is not something that most (or even some) people aren't cut out for. It is not a cup of tea, it is not a different stroke, it is not a personal choice. It is a goddamned requirement for being a social human being.
I don't care if you're "not smart," or if you're "left-brained," or if you're a woman. (Fact: many women still seem to think that "deep thoughts" are for men only.) It's hard for everyone to develop a true sense of personal morality, and even harder to bring actions in line with it. It takes time, effort, and dedication. But there is no other option, if harmony and broad, long-term happiness are our goals. And that means that all people, barring hermits and the mentally disabled (and those who live in circumstances of perpetual survival), have a responsibility to sacrifice that time, effort, and dedication.
Replacing ethical thought with the worship of partying and hypermasculinity doesn't really work.
*It's so cool, I've decided to link to the site where it was found, which also appears to be epically awesome: Niffum
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