"Crazy, right?"

Now Serving Cognitive Dissonance

MSU to its students: You don't drink! The community loves you! Isn't that great? Hehehehehehehehehehe! You don't drink! I'm not going to lose my job! Isn't that great? The community loves you! Hehehehehehehehehe! Haha, hoho you don't loves you! The community drink! Isn't that my job? Where is it going? Wait - no! GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME! NO! OUR PROGRAM IS SUCCESSFUL, IT'S BEING COPIED AROUND THE COUNTRY! WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME NOOOOOOOOOOOOO *slam*

In other news, Comcast has stated clearly once again that they hate you.